It’s May so it’s still mental health awareness month. Is it me, or has this year been particularly challenging!? So far I’ve had a lot to face, but through it all I’ve remained blessed and in a constant state of seeking peace.
I’ve really come to know that wellness is an overall state that begins with the mind. If the mind is not well, it won’t be well with your body, spirit and soul.
I put a lot of effort forth lately to get my mind right. I’m intentional and thoughtful about what TV shows I watch, what podcasts I listen to, who I hang with, etc. It all matters. So many outside factors can influence is!
Lately I take a lot of walks, and I’ve found that beauty is truly everywhere! Take these flowers for instance.
I’ve found I cannot go too long without working out and it’s amazing how my body is transforming slowly as I make what I originally meant for recreation more about total wellness.
I’m divinehostess on snapchat if you’d like to follow.
I’ve found that eating well never gets old. It takes me to a good place and is so fun to have food adventures. I had this yummy vegan pho with a coworker last week. Fulfilling and fun to eat!
In the end, I want to be able to say I lived and didn’t just exist. I’m building a legacy for myself and my future family to leave a mark on this world. I keep this in mind whenever life gets incredibly challenging. I don’t ask “why me?” because I now understand that each new challenge is simply preparation for my next promotion.
What have you learned about life or yourself this year so far?
Have times in your life ever been so confusing that all you can do is sit and daydream of the future because you know it will be so much better and so much more clear? For me it had been that way at times.
In times like that, you should flood your spirit with so much positivity and inspiration that it has no time to be cluttered or impeded by sorrow.
What affirmations will you speak over your life today?
Below are mine:
Hey healthy bunnies! 🐰
How is your week kicking off so far? I hope today was both prosperous and productive.
I recently got new headshots for my blog and other media outlets. I try to keep mine as up to date as possible.
Since its spring, it made sense to keep it light and fun. I’m a fan of wearing white, taupe, and beige. I think it’s a nice contrast with my skin tone.
I think my photographer, Osose did a fantastic job of capturing my personality and style.
This was my first time visiting the Venice canals, too. Super cute little neighborhood.
As you wrap up your Monday, I encourage you to take inventory. What needs to be done? What can be done? Have you planned your rest time, meals, and exercise? Don’t overwhelm yourself, but do sit and think. Let’s be intentional–it makes all the difference.
This coming Saturday evening I’ll have the honor of being one of the chefs for an event called Choose Love hosted by Black Women for Wellness Los Angeles. There will be a panel, speakers, food and more. It’s a celebration of women and those who love them– an what better weekend than Mother’s Day weekend!?
If you live in the Los Angeles area and would like to attend– visit the eventbrite site:
And use the discount code: FIFIATBWW for $30 off your ticket. I hope to see you there!
Wow, it’s May! Time has flown in 2016. The older I get, the more I say that. I’ve been super busy, so we will be taking a quick time travel back to the end of March when I celebrated my birthday. It was low key, but so much fun. A small group of friends met me at the Getty Villa and then we followed with yummy brunch at the Huntley hotel.
I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to plan a celebration like this one! It was totally my speed.
The Getty Villa is much smaller than the Getty Museum, but it doesn’t disappoint. I’m really into just wandering and being curious. I liked the gardens outside, and the art replicas inside.
I am unsure if all the art there is recreated or if some is actually original.
About the food at the Huntley Hotel… Maybe lemon ricotta pancakes are why I’m vegetarian instead of vegan! They really were divine.
It seemed like everyone really enjoyed their food!
Our seating had a lovely view and our server made sure to bring me a special treat!
Look at the view in the restroom! Wow.
So much fun and I felt so loved. If you liked my dress, I can do a separate post showing more detail. It’s the same one I wore for my updated head shots!
I took a break from business and social media for about two weeks and many of you have wondered why. First, let me say the concerned messages, snaps, emails and tweets mean so much to me. It is so easy to get caught up being a spectator on social media that we lose the intimacy and personal touch of real communication. Some of you are near, some are far– but always close to my heart. You’re my pals.
I took a break because I lost a family member, and I’m sure you will understand when I say– no one can really fully be prepared. It was sudden, and I just felt like a bunch of time was just snatched from me. I love my family dearly and I do spend a lot of time with them–but it’s never enough. I assumed I had time. Have you been there? You think of something a person you love would enjoy and you think “I’ll take them here one day” or “I’ll share this with them tomorrow”. You just never know how long you really have…
What made this both easy and difficult at the same time was the fact that every single person I would normally go to for comfort was hurting just like I was. In this time we have leaned closer together, bearing one another up and showering each other with love. I have just felt like– this is private– this is a family thing and no one else will understand what I need right now.
Grieving is a process and there’s no set time for how long it will take for you to reach a point of closure. I at first felt shocked, then sad, then a deeper form of devastation. It happened just 5 days before my birthday, and when I thought of that I felt like not celebrating at all. My cousin who is also one of my best friends said, “No. You celebrate with your friends and you celebrate with us, your family. He would have wanted you to celebrate life. Especially at a time like this.” She was right.
It felt wonderful to be surrounded by friends, and my birthday fell on Easter this year so it also just felt like I was closer to God.
A few things I’ve learned about grieving, anxiety and depression that may help you or someone you know.
- Be honest. Don’t try to cover up the pain so much that you avoid it altogether. It isn’t healthy, and it doesn’t promote healing.
- Eat well. Our inclination may be for fast, easy, comforting foods– but just make sure they promote life. Bad food will sink you further into depression.
- Get out and enjoy nature. The day I walked to the beach and breathed in the salty sea air and watched the sunset, I felt so grateful and so alive.
- Seek therapy. There are counselors who can help you work through your grief, depression or anxiety. You may not be able to simply “shake it off”.
- Sleep more.This can be a very exhausting time, and sleep is a way to repair and heal. It can help restore your immune system and clear your head as well.
- Know yourself. Do you need to be alone? Do you need to be around people? Don’t do it for others, do it for you. If you get around a crowd and that overwhelms you, leave. Don’t feel guilty about it.
- Tell the people who matter. Talk to your close friends and family, your boss, and whomever may be affected by your change of pace.
- Get lost in good music or a book. You don’t have to dwell on your troubles all day long. You’re allowed to escape as needed.
- Be around children. They are so sensitive, sweet, and full of joy. Being around my niece and nephew was awesome. Not that I’m comparing children to animals, but being around animals is also very soothing!
- There are no rules. Just remember– everyone responds differently. Don’t judge yourself!
Hey healthy bunnies! 🐰 How is your week going? I have something to share with you– straight from the heart.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I suck– at basically everything. I can’t seem to perform the way I expect and in many ways I can’t seem to perform the way others expect. Have you ever been there?
I got thinking: what would I tell a client, a friend, or my sisters?
The truth is, sometimes we look at one failure as a total failure at life, when in the grand scheme of things, this moment is no more than an opportunity to learn or overcome.
I don’t know what you’re going through, but I can assure you, you don’t suck at life. Here’s why!
- You’re not finished. Maybe this moment isn’t going well, but you’re still breathing so you’re not done!
- You’re doing better than you think. A lot of times people who give us feedback, or even we who evaluate ourselves tend to focus on what needs to improve. Criticism as the sole focus makes it seem like we aren’t doing anything well, and it’s just not true.
- Does calling yourself a failure help you not fail!? Don’t think so, so stop.
- You’re valuable. You’re valuable to your environment, to people in your sphere, to those you have yet to meet, and most importantly– you’re valuable to God.
- You haven’t failed, you just discovered one more way that doesn’t work. You’re that much closer!
- You’re distracted. Take time to evaluate yourself and your performance, but never so much time that you stop, quit, wallow or get off course. Maybe right now you’re distracted, and need to gain focus. That can feel like failure.
- Maybe it’s not you that sucks– maybe it’s your circumstances. Stop claiming circumstances as your life! Circumstances are temporary. A sucky situation can make a great person. Develop character in this moment.
- Are you being authentic? If you don’t take the courage to be who God designed you to be– the very reason you were born, you will never be successful. I’m serious. Think of tools– they have a specific and ordained purpose, and when used properly they work. When used for other purposes outside of why they were created, working properly is no longer a sure thing. Be you.
- Reframe the story. A lot of times we say things that sound like “my life is in shambles” and that story we tell becomes the one we live. Tell the story you want to live!
- You. Don’t. Suck. You don’t suck, because that’s ridiculous. What kind of thing is that to say about a person like no other on earth before, and who will never be duplicated? What sort of thing is that to say about the next inventor, creator, teacher, lover, adventurer, inspirer, trail-blazer, or leader? It isn’t the sort of thing a great person says, and that’s just what you are. You’re unique, and great, and worth more than the bad day, week or year you may be having.
Change the way you view things. Change your attitude. Change the position of your faith.
You got this!